Wednesday, May 30, 2007
1st set: lactic attack as soon as i stopped running. wth? it's only the first set?
2nd set: tired, panting like a dog
3rd set: feeling more and more sore on both my legs.
4th set: was practically dragging myself forward the moment i finish. lactic flooding my butts as i pulled myself towards the 200m mark for the 5th. i wouldn't call that walking. hurled whatever vulgarities i know at myself, keep scolding myself, for having that thought of wanting to stop.
5th set: missed the timing by a slight margin. pissed. dying. but nevertheless, told myself i cant stop or i'll regret it. more vulgarities. shouted at myself (in my head of course). painful. rain. continued.
6th set: got back the timing. collasped.
as i lay on the track, letting the rain mix with the sweat on my body, i thought to myself. the timing sucks, but at that point in time, i didn't care.
it felt good.
aaron | 4:26 PM
Sunday, May 27, 2007
i'm relieved because at least i think i know what went wrong.
but more than that i'm pissed because of the stagnant results which has been the case since sec4
f***ing pissed
the next run WILL be better, that i promise myself
meanwhile, this is a really nice song which i've been listening to for the entire day already.
making april - roses and butterfliesI can see where you are
I can tell you're enjoying it so far
I would love to escape, but now I'm bound
by the of burn of your eyes
looking on as I'm starting to realize
I'm a pawn in your game and this is checkmate
as the roses lift their heads to catch a glimpse of my demise
you'll be throwing lies around like ocean waves throw down the tides
and they are breaking on my shore
and the rescue team won't save me now I'm out too far
so I'll waste these nights for a while
but I'll be holding onto you forever
and this is where my heart is cold and torn
as I read the words you wrote last night
the butterflies are creeping through my spine
it's a thrill I can't shake
yeah I know we've been writing a mistake
but it's hard to erase the feelings I've drawn
I was caught in an awkward silence
broken down by the sound of your prelude that you played
to open our symphony
I've been sleeping with the sunrise watching hours pass away
incidentally I'm just waiting for the dusk to kill the day
but now I'm waiting for your call
while I bang on this piano like you care at all
chorus
as I hear the words you're saying tonight
I'm falling for them every single time
as the roses dip their heads a little further to the ground
there's a season change and all the pinks and whites have turned to brown
will we make it through the fall yeah are we gonna make it through this fall
‘cause I don't wanna fall with you
I'm trying, we're dying, yeahhh
I'm taken by your hope-filled lines
they're well designed and dragging me along
I'll be waiting for this chance and I'll be gone
the roses lift their heads to catch a glimpse of my demise
aaron | 6:40 PM
Friday, May 25, 2007
1: attempted playing granado espada (the word "espada" kind of remind me of bleach), the new game that you might probably have seen on tv commercials. i mean, how often do u see a game commercial on singapore tv channels? anw, the game is something like a mix between final fantasy and diablo 2. nice graphics i must say, worth playing. but the thing is that it's super lag given my laptop's capabilities.
2: tried the new "anything" drink on wednesday. it's quite funny to see the few of us going up to the counter at 7-eleven and asking, "erm... do you have anything?". haha anw, the drink is really 'anything'. different cans contain different drinks even though the outside looks like exact duplicates of each other. it's like playing with a jackpot machine everything you buy one. that drink is really meant for people who dunno what to drink. i think "whatever" is the same besides the fact that it is non-carbonated. maybe they should come up with "something", "everything" or "nothing" to make things more interesting.
ok the week has been neither pleasant nor boring nor shitty. on second thoughts, maybe it's just me. training yesterday was rather unfulfilling. i was swinging my arms frantically (with proper technique of course) and yet my legs simply refuse to budge. irritating. let's just hope that they will move on sunday. the official holidays starting soon. i haven started on revision yet besides doing chemical periodicity tutorial and i have people around me all into 2nd gear of their revision already. scary. but the mugging race isn't the only race i'm in now. there's still nationals to whack for.
as for soccer, (a div, not champions league) the team that njc drew with won overall champion. that feeling sucks, i know. but what's gone is gone. there's nothing we can do to take them back. learn to let go, learn to forget, learn to move along. these are the things that are always so difficult to learn, yet so crucial to us.
forget about how you lost, remember how you fought. discard the sadness and sorrow, all you need to keep with you are those happy fragments of memories. that'll be enough.
no matter what i'll whack hard, real hard. i dont wanna leave any regrets behind for my nationals.
200m
400m
last year
end it with a bang
aaron | 11:41 AM
Sunday, May 20, 2007
last time, whenever i take an afternoon nap, i'll find it hard to fall asleep at night. but now things are different. every corner i go i'll feel like sleeping. and no matter how much i sleep i still feel that tinge of fatigue within me. slept my entire saturday and sunday afternoon away. it's quite amazing how i fall into deep slumber so easily.
but well, at least the workload for me has decreased significantly somehow. track meet was rather successful, and so was the dsa talk on friday. now i can finally focus on trainings and revision.
2nd allcomers meet on the 27th, swift meet coming soon. nationals just a month and a week away.
there's something i need to prove.
不然我会很不甘心...
不论过程如何, 最终还是胜者为王
aaron | 6:57 PM
Saturday, May 12, 2007
no more spa to irritate me ever again. no more.
another week went by just like that. another not so pleasant week. then again, i doubt i'll ever have a week i can enjoy. today was the best so far. went for a game of soccer immediately after spa. it was just 1.5 hours of plain madness, running around, kicking and heading the ball despite the scorching weather. it was burning at the track, but it didn't matter to us, to me. i just wanted to play my hearts out, to forget everything.
yesterday was an emo day. 800m was screwed. after that rushed down to mjc to watch the soccer match between nj and mj. the away fans (us) were outnumbered (by a large margin) by the home supporters, but that didnt stop the few of us from screaming and cheering. the first half was well fought, but they just didnt manage to hold out. it the second half when the first goal came, and then the second a while after that. it was desperation as the match drew closer to the end. but the lads didnt show any sign of giving up the fight. they lunged for every ball, they held their fort, they argued with the refree, some lost their temper, all for the sake of winning. but it all came to an end after the final whistle was blown. i saw engping going around, telling his men to hold their heads up high. they tried their best, they trained like mad, they ran like there's no tomorrow, for the game they loved. that's what sports is all about
but looking at the number of supporters that turned up, i couldn't help but feel pissed. seriously. it was half day yesterday, and yet no one wanted to go. the j2s that turned up had spa the today, and yet they were willing to go down and support the team despite the match being held at mjc, (which is like on the other side of the world), despite knowing that the odds were against us, despite knowing that the whole grandstand will be filled with mjc supports and we would hardly be visible and audible. and it's not as if the soccer guys didn't ask for support. they were going around asking friends, teachers, people they know to go down. all this talk about school spirit? what a joke...
aaron | 7:35 PM
Monday, May 7, 2007
在现实生活中,有许多事情是只有在亲身体验过后才能够真正领悟到它的意义的。
这个新期可以说是我十八年来的最低点。生平第一次感到如此悲伤,情绪如此低落。
但是同时,我也发现到这世界也没我想象的那么冷漠。前几天发生了几件出乎意料的事件。是它门帮我找回了意志,帮我重新点着我心里那似乎已经要熄灭的灯火。
老实说,没有他们,我实在不知所措。
没有他们,我现在大概还无法从那深渊里爬出来。
谢谢你们。
弱肉强食
心理脆弱的人是没办法在这世界上生存的
aaron | 6:18 PM